W(o/a)nderer

What is going on in your mind and surroundings right now?

Notice without judgement; as an outsider taking notes with no feelings or judgements attached.

Remember: your thoughts are big puffy white clouds and can simply be observed as they move across a bright blue sky.

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She’s just had her first day as a mother, a proper mother, mothering two young children that she met 2 weeks ago.

The eldest child, 4 years of age, had a breakdown this morning because he wanted his father to stay home. This affected the youngest, 2, and ended up in them both crying and her having to laugh to stay sane.

She tried to get them to school on time by taking a “short cut”, trying to cycle as the crow flies, but she does not know the town well enough and got lost.

By 9 am she was back home and had to figure out how to clean the kitchen, do the laundry, iron the clothes which may not be tumble dried, take out the trash, prepare food and then pick the youngest up again at 12pm. She already worries about what she will do with him to keep him occupied, never mind the 4 year old who causes mischief and is much harder to keep entertained.

All she can think about is eating something sweet so that she can forget to focus and rather just enter auto pilot mode, and enter the second most natural thing a human can do after breathing; eating.

She fears that eating will make her fat. She feels that being fat will make her unloved. She fears that being fat and unloved is the most shameful of acts. However, she binges? She continues to eat and binge until she cannot even swallow, self inflicting that pain even when she know it will take her to the thing she fears most.

 

How can she break this cycle?

 

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