Getting “one up”

Honestly I dont know how I’m going to beat this.

I want to be thin and not eat and not exercise. But I love exercising.

I want to be fit but I’m scared I over eat. I want to eat but I’m scared I dont get to exercise enough.

 

Its a real fuckup.

 

I was thinking today, that I’m scared of failure. I’m scared to fail at things so either I don’t even try, OR, I self sabotage.

 

Am I scared of failing

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